Kuroo
by midillu
Summary: Kuroo. The one constant in Kenma's life, the one thing that never changed; Kuroo. Kuroo was the one that took care of him, was always there for him. But Kuroo wasn't always there. Sometimes, the age gap was painfully apparent. Especially when Kuroo was forced to leave Kenma on his own. - Basically a character analysis/relationship analysis for KuroKen -


Kuroo.

The one constant in Kenma's life, the one thing that never changed; Kuroo. Even with their age gap, the years they were in separate schools never truly affected their friendship. They always became attached at the hip again the next year, as if nothing had happened. And it's not like Kuroo disappeared on those years, he still went out of his way to pick up Kenma and walk him to school, but it wasn't the same.

He never told Kuroo about what the separation did to him, and Kuroo never asked, which was a relief. Kenma wasn't good with people. He never had been, and while Kuroo was his exception to most things, it didn't change the fact that he had no idea how to express his feelings. And even though Kuroo made him uncomfortable sometimes, like when he tried to convince Kenma to do things that made him tired or sweaty or social, Kenma still clung to him.

Kuroo was the one that could make him give a small smile.

Kuroo was the one who was endlessly patient with Kenma; no matter the situation, he never gave up on the timid male.

Kuroo was the one who was there for him when he needed it, even if it was just being someone to sit with him quietly.

Kuroo was the one who knew Kenma inside and out, and could always tell what Kenma needed.

Kuroo was the one that pushed his boundaries, and got him outside of his comfort zone.

Kuroo was the one that took care of him, was always there for him.

But Kuroo wasn't _always_ there. Sometimes, the age gap was painfully apparent. Especially when Kuroo was forced to leave Kenma on his own.

The first time it happened, was Kenma's last year of elementary school, and Kuroo's first in middle school. It was the first time since Kenma had met Kuroo, that they were truly separated.

Kenma was miserable.

He hadn't realized how dependent on Kuroo he had become, until he was stripped of his "safety net". He wasn't unaccustomed to being alone, his personality didn't exactly scream "friendly", and for the most part he didn't mind it. There wasn't anyone to annoy him or force him to do something he didn't want to, so he could basically do whatever he wanted to, instead of having Kuroo drag him around.

Except, as he sat in an empty classroom to eat his lunch day after day, he realized something that shocked him.

He missed Kuroo.

Halfway through his last year of elementary school, sitting in an empty classroom with sun shining lazily through the windows, Kenma cried.

That day, as Kuroo dropped Kenma at his doorstep, just as he was about to walk away, he felt a tug on his sleeve, and turned in time for Kenma to press himself into the taller male's chest. It took Kuroo a moment to return the impromptu hug, slowly wrapping strong arms around Kenma, carefully, as if the younger would break if he held him too tight. Kenma just gripped him tighter, relieving some of his anxiety just by having his best friend near.

When he pulled back, he didn't miss the curious look Kuroo was giving him, but he didn't explain his uncharacteristic behavior.

Kuroo looked a little frustrated, obviously dying to ask, but he knew better than to push the matter. Kenma shut down when he was pressured- the raven knew that from experience.

Kenma wasn't exactly what you would call a physical person; he liked his bubble and appreciated those that stayed out of it. People made him uncomfortable, and even talking to people was tiring to him. He felt mentally and emotionally drained after the shortest of conversations, and even minor contact made it harder for him to function.

As such, he avoided any and all physical contact as much as possible. And, as always, Kuroo was his exception. Kuroo was extremely mindful of things that caused discomfort for Kenma, and while he pushed the limits of some of Kenma's boundaries, he rarely tried to touch Kenma without permission.

Every once in a while he'd sling an arm around Kenma's shoulders, or pat him on the back, but he always seemed to know where to draw the line, and Kenma was grateful for that. Plus, he was almost always comfortable around Kuroo. So he was lenient with his childhood friend.

While Kenma didn't really enjoy hugging and things like that, he didn't hate it either. He had days where he wanted to be touched, wanted to cuddle. Kuroo loved those days. They were extremely rare, as often there were months between these times, but when they did occur, Kenma always went straight to Kuroo. They'd cuddle the afternoon away, and by the next day he was back to normal. There were times when he would sit in Kuroo's lap to play video games, but that didn't happen very often either.

Hugging was okay sometimes, in moderation. There were only two people Kenma had ever initiated a hug with, and that was Kuroo and his mom. While they were usually reserved for when either he needed a hug, or Kuroo seemed like he needed a hug, they occurred more often than anyone else would've guessed.

When Kuroo started middle school, he wasn't able to spend very much time with Kenma. While Kenma understood, that didn't mean he liked it. That was also when Kuroo joined the volleyball club. Kuroo was so excited, though Kenma didn't understand how his friend could like it so much. And soon enough, the raven was begging the younger to join the volleyball club as well. Eventually, Kenma ended up promising to join the club when he started middle school, and Kuroo taught him some of the basics even as he was learning them himself.

While Kenma didn't really enjoy it, he was able to spend time with Kuroo, and he had always been a bit weak to Kuroo's joyful smile. Since it came out whenever Kenma agreed to practice with him, he didn't really have a choice but to agree.

Kenma never told Kuroo how the other kids bullied him. He didn't have the scary upperclassman protecting him anymore, after all. He was an easy target, especially once he figured out that he was more timid than he let on. He cared what they thought about him, and their words hurt. He dealt with it though, he didn't want to worry Kuroo.

When Kenma started middle school with Kuroo, he almost expected things to be different. They had been apart for a year after all, how could things remain the same?

He was kind of right, as things _were_ different, just not in the way he was expecting. To his surprise, Kuroo seemed genuinely happy to be able to see him every day at school again. They fell back into a familiar routine, Kuroo dragged him out of bed every morning, they walked to school together, they went to their separate classes, they ate lunch together, they went back to class, and... they went to volleyball practice together.

The only thing that really changed in their schedule was the addition of volleyball, every day, after school. Kenma didn't really like it, but he didn't hate it either. It made him tired, and he couldn't play as much video games as he would if he were to just go home straight after school. He didn't like the stress of the competitive atmosphere. He didn't want to let his teammates down.

Middle school was also the first time that he had a serious panic attack at school. They'd started soon after Kuroo had graduated elementary school, but he had managed to hide them from his best friend, since they hadn't seen each other a whole lot.

He'd felt it building, and while being with Kuroo had significantly reduced his anxiety levels, it still got bad from time to time.

They were in the middle of practice. Kenma had thought he could handle it. He figured he could hold out until he got home. Just 30 more minutes. 25. 22. 20. 19. 18. Why was time passing slower now?

It was hard to breathe. His chest was getting tight. He looked around nervously. People were starting to notice. He couldn't breathe anymore. He didn't know what to do. Kuroo was walking toward him, and he started to feel more and more cornered.

He tried to focus. He tossed to one of his teammates. His toss fell short. His legs were shaking. Kuroo was at his side now, asking him all kinds of questions that he couldn't find the words to answer. His legs gave out. Kuroo was holding him, as he shook uncontrollably. Tears welled up behind his eyes, and slipped out against his will. He didn't want to break down. Not in front of the volleyball team. Not in front of his coach. Not in front of Kuroo.

Kuroo picked him up gently, and Kenma closed his eyes. Why did Kuroo smell so nice? Kenma didn't know. But it was comforting.

When his vision cleared and his breathing slowed, he realized he was in Kuroo's lap.

A quick glance told him that Kuroo was sitting against the wall, arms wrapped around him protectively. The rest of the team had evidently gone back to practice, but it was obvious that they were staring at the two childhood friends instead of was watching him. Some out of the corner of their eye, and some were less subtle about it.

Kuroo gripped him tighter when he realized Kenma was aware of his surroundings again, obviously fretting over his friend.

"I know you don't really like being touched, but I kinda didn't know what else to do... Kenma, what happened?" His voice was soft, comforting, and Kenma looked down at his hands, his heart still racing. He hesitated to reply, searching for something to say, but wasn't coming up with anything. His brain was a jumbled mess, and he could still feel the inexplicable fear gripping his chest.

The coach was the first to approach, as soon as everyone realized that Kenma was calm. Kuroo instinctively pulled his friend closer, and the coach raised his hands in a placating manner, before talking directly to Kenma.

"Are you feeling better?" Kenma nodded wordlessly, and he continued. "I think you should go home for today. You're not going to be of much help as you are, and your health is important." Kenma nodded again, sliding out of Kuroo's lap and standing on unsteady legs. Kuroo was immediately at his side, anchoring him.

"Kuroo, take him home please. We'll see you both tomorrow." Kuroo gathered their stuff, and pulled Kenma out the door of the gym.


End file.
